The Power of the Word on Stone

YAP YAN NEO 葉焉娘 (1889–1925)  Place of Ancestry : Tung Ann (同安)

Yap  Yan Neo is  wife to  Tan Ean Kiam, one of the founders of the Oversea- Chinese Banking Corporation.  The tomb is  simple, but the inscriptions on the tombstone tells us more about her.  What is inscribed on a tombstone in Bukit Brown, depends on whether it is a Hokkien grave, or a Teochew grave.  These two types are the most commonly encountered graves in Bukit Brown.

This grave is a Hokkien grave, and inscribed at the top of the tombstone are the characters for Tong An.  In the case of married women, this is usually the ancestral village of the husband.  In her case, it is also her ancestral village.  The main inscription down the centre of the tombstone bears witness that she, Yap Yan Neo, is the wife of Tan Ean Kiam (陳延謙妻葉焉娘) This in itself departs from the norm, which would only disclose the family that the woman buried there married into, rather than naming the husband directly.  In a way, this was a subtle message that she was not just married into the Tan family, she was my wife.

The tombstone also discloses she had two sons, and that she passed away March 12, 1925.

In the panel below the altar we find the greatest expression of her husband’s grief : 

(photo credit Raymond Goh)

“My wife, Madam Yap Yan Neo, hailed from Lianhua San Village, Tong’an. She was born on the 14th day of the 7th month during the 15th year of the Guangxu reign(1889) and passed away on the 12th day of the 3rd month in the 14th year of the Republic of China (1925). This record is made in remembrance of her life.

In her lifetime, she upheld virtuous conduct. From the time she married and joined me, we shared 20 years of harmony without any shortcomings. She managed the household with great thrift. I now remain without a lifelong companion.

The inscription reads: With my wife now gone,I mourn her deeply. She lived a life of modesty and dignity. I dare not seek the words of a renowned figure for this inscription, For this is enough to honor her memory.

These few words are written as a tribute to her,
Known as Yan Neo, the wife of Tan Ean Kiam
Written by Tan Ean Kiam himself.”

余妻葉氏嫣娘乃同安蓮花山鄉,生光緒十五年七月十四 卒民國十四年三月十二故為誌年譜。此世若其懿行,自及笄歸余唱隨廿載,無缺德持家頗倹。餘者無立誌矣。銘曰:以夫銘歸兮,自延謙抬。一長不取兮,情殊堪悲。不敢乞筆於名人兮,命也可发。郰誌數言於奕兮,知昱廷謙之妻。陳廷謙 自筆

 (translated by Raymond Goh)